I’ve had so much attention today! If an oversized bump generates this much, matching babies haven’t a hope in hell of anonymity.
“When’s it due? You’re not about to give birth now are you?” (I felt feint and needed a seat briefly in Marks and Spencer Simply Food today). “Are you having Braxton Hicks’? Would you like someone to walk you to your car?” (Yeah, perhaps take me to my car, I could always give birth there. Or perhaps I’ll just drive myself right on down to the labour ward)
“No no, I’m fine, actually I’ve got 3 months to go yet.” Look of confusion, horror even, such that I can’t help clarifying with “it’s twins”. Now a look somewhere between pity and awe, followed by a third and final “Are you sure we can’t walk you to your car?” Anything to get out of 10 minutes on the checkout missy. I downed a pint of milk, noticed a customer occupying my assistant’s time, and made a swift exit.
Yesterday was good. Someone said I looked as though I had something up my jumper. I confessed to keeping a large medicine ball up there, trying to match her level of humour. Her look told me I’d failed; we were quite clearly on different planets.
Later I was asked when the baby was due. When I explained that they weren’t due until March, I got the reply “Oh I thought it must be twins. Either that or an elephant”. Luckily I saw the funny side. Have you met my husband, Mr Jumbo?
Oh and finally, someone asked my due date, then “…yes but have you been given a date, a date to have them, an early date?” I suppose she was meaning a slash me open and whip them all out date. Now where shall I start? This is a whole nother post for a whole nother day. You know what? They can come out through the normal hole, at the normal time…