I’ve waited so long for this – little bubbles, pops and indescribeable but reassuring internal shifts that tell me for certain that they’re alive, and yet yesterday practically nothing.

One seems more active than the other, or more pressed up against the side of my uterine tank. I only seem to feel movement on the right. Eek! That must mean that the one in the middle is weak, ill, or been bound and gagged by her sister with the only available weapon, the umbilical cord. No – I’ve got it all wrong – the one at the edge is squashed, panicking, miniature legs and arms flailing, trying to get out… quick, call the midwife!

Clare, chill out – they’re ok.